I have had recent experience of the debilitating effect expectations can have on a mum. Whether it is expectations of others or themselves, it can be absolutely crippling on a mother's confidence and esteem to strive and often fail to reach those extreme goal posts of perfection.
Why do we do it to ourselves? Why do we do it to each other?
If there is one thing I am sure those well into the world of mother would say- if they are being totally honest- is that there is no such thing as the perfect mother. And there shouldn't be either, in my opinion.
So I am challenging all the mothers out there to give yourself a break. To let go of those expectations of being the perfect mother. You are doing the best you can. You are doing the hardest job in the world.
So let's see if we can let go of a few things and define a new perfect:
- doing the best you can is perfect enough for you and your children.
- if you give them a cuddle when they are sad, that is perfect for them.
- letting go of mess for a day, in order to get through the day is more than ok. It's healthy.
- feeling as though you are only just surviving to the end of the day is ok every now and then too.
- being in your pyjamas at 12 noon is perfect if you have given up showering for making forts from chairs and a table cloth.
- getting a smile, even a jam smeared one, is perfect.
- being a person, outside of a mother, is perfect. It is also essential.
- if lunch is only beans on toast and it is served with love and a giggle, it is perfect.
- the new perfect is going to nursery in mismatching clothes they've chosen and un-combed hair for you.
- ordering a takeaway when you need to have a break is more than perfect.
- you may not be able to run the parent/ teachers meetings but it's perfect if you turn up and help on the plant stall for 20mins.
- the washing may not be done but it is perfect that everyone is fed and laughing at your funny faces.
You are creating perfection in your child every day- by loving them; by showing them right and wrong; by enjoying a rainbow; by stopping your day to follow the path of a beetle with them; by being real and honest.
No-one is perfect but there is perfection in every day, if we let oursleves see it, rather than be it. What is your example of the new perfect?
Leave a comment below or hop onto the website forum and share with others what it means for you.
Wishing you the most perfect of days x
(for M and her two gorgeous boys who are so lucky to have such a wonderful mummy. You are my perfect x)
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