There was a moment today when I thought I was doing ok: Groceries delivered. Tea bubbling away on stove. Child content. Husband equally so. Washing done. Card written to send to friend for birthday. Pressing work issues dealt to. The sun had been shining, I'd been out walking in it.
I was feeling rather good about life and how I was doing.
And then...
...this popped into my head:
'Why clean so that you can see your face in the surface? You only get to see that you haven't done your hair today'
I'm not usually in the business of making up quotes and I'm not sure what my sub-conscious was telling me (aside from having a laugh at my expense) but probably something about the perfectionist tendencies I have and the expectations that come with that which I can't possibly (and have recently learned I don't want to) reach.
Perfectionism is something I have been looking at within my life for a decent time now. It turns out that it featured a lot in my past; in my formative years, where it became prevalent and all-controlling. I now spend some reflection time looking at recent stresses and seeing how much this is the cause.
I am thankful to say, less and less so. I have learned to give myself a break and cut some slack. I have learned that being 'me' comes with all the glories as well as the tarnishes and mistakes- and that is ok. I have learned that being this authentic person, is more freeing and empowering than almost anything else I have experienced.
I have learned to laugh more. Perhaps this is what I was trying to tell myself tonight.
'Why clean so that you can see your face in the surface? You only get to see that you haven't done your hair today'
It's Valentines after all and loving yourself is part of loving someone else.
What would you like to tell yourself today, that is kind and will nurture a bruised part of your soul?
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Lisa Cherry
said:
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... So lovely to hear you dumped Perfectionism....not sure I've ever strived for it possibly knowing at the outset that it was completely unachievable I have been spared the torture. But as you say I do know that self love is the cornerstone to everything and that takes a big strive for, everyday. I don't actually want to look in your work surface....because a) it will highlight the filfth of my kitchen and b) it will highlight the lines on my face further reminding me that I am halfway through my life and I actually want to live forever! I am a big Kirsten fan anyway....just the way you are! xx |
Cathy Dean
said:
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... Ha! Love it :-) I reckon there are some ares in life where the pursuit of Perfection is good (as long as you know what "Perfect" means for you), but I have to say that for me, housework is not one of them...and neither is my hair, if I'm not going anywhere!! |
Kirsten
said:
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... Thanks for your comments lovely ladies. It did make me giggle sharing this as it was such a moment of 'What are you doing? There will always be something to do or wash or clean; something that is not just quite right so chill out. Go relax!' I laughed. And you're right Cathy- if I ease up on the perfect in some areas, I can put more energy into being perfect with something else! |
