My beauty therapist once explained to me (less beauty, more therapy), that by trying to scrub away my blemishes, I was only succeeding in damaging already distressed skin. What I needed to be doing instead was understanding what my skin lacked to cause the imbalance and to treat it tenderly with kindness and what it needed.
That may seem obvious, but at the time, it was a bit of a revelation and now I can see an analogy with the way women and mothers tend to treat themselves- by being harsh and abrasive in times of distress instead of showing ourselves understanding, tenderness and care.
By trying to 'cleanse' away my damaged skin with scrubbing and scrubbing, I was actually punishing my(self) skin and causing damage at a much deeper level. My beauty therapist, quite rightly and obviously, advocated my skin was reflecting what my body lacked, namely: water, regular exercise, good sleep and a healthy diet. I knew this but to see that my immediate response to my skin's cry for help was to punish rather than to nourish was a disturbing realisation.
The analogy extends to how we punish ourselves for all manner of things in our lives as women and mothers: expectations and it's evil shadow, guilt being the biggest factors in employing 'punishment' over understanding and kindness. Our distress at certain times and in certain situations is telling us something. It is not to be ignored or berated but handled with care and a nurturing attitude.
Ask yourself what is it your mind, body, soul is telling you? What is it that you are lacking right now that is causing this imbalance? What do you or others need to provide to regain an equilibrium?
When my skin breaks out, it is my cue to stop and take note that something is out of balance. It is my cue to listen and then provide what it needs to heal and radiate health and balance once more. Just as there are creams and balms to aid the process of healing damaged skin, it is more about the bigger causative picture- what is the blemish a symptom of?
So too is there love and friendship, time and space, joy and laughter that help to ease your transition to better health and happiness but that is not in itself, treating the cause of your distress or stress. Listen with kindness to what is really going on. Give yourself the opportunity to do this and then you can put your energies into correcting the imbalance and making change to put it right, with tenderness and care.
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