It's been a bit topsy-turvy here. What was certain routine now isn't: how do I create another hour and a half in my 'working' day now that my little one is giving up her afternoon nap? That was quality time dedicated to my business. It is now quality time dedicated to playdoh, painting, walks and Waybaloo!
Because of this change, I have needed to change and that has left me a bit withdrawn. Needing a bit of space. A bit low. I am busy processing the change and repercussions and trying to come to terms with this newest shift and until I get more comfortable with the change, I'm best left to myself!
Now that I am on the other side of the change, what have I let go? And how am I adjusting?
Exercise. I have let go of trying to fit exercise into my day. I have been trying to do this for a good few months- trying different times of day; different types of exercise; different formats of exercising. But not for the want of trying, have I decided to let this one go.
I can see a time in the not too distant future, where there will be more opportunity for this to become much easier and a more regular fixture in my life. I am not beating myself up about this. I do not feel guilty as I have given this issue a fair amount of thought and effort. I know I would feel better if I could make it work but the stress of trying was beginning to outweigh any benefit. I've let it go. For now. The time will come.
And now it has! Just days after feeling the utter relief of not having the constant pressure of the critical voice in my head: 'I must exercise. I am a bad person for not exercising...', my daughter has decided that her afternoon nap is no longer a permanent fixture in our timetable. So in recent days, when she's bouncing in her cot, yelling 'Wake, mummy!', I have put her in the buggy and we've walked. Or more exactly, she's slept and I've walked, and walked and walked.
The adjustment here? It seems like I have what I originally wanted: exercise. Yes I do, but the flip side of that is the loss of a good 1.5 hours of work-time in the middle of the day. This I can no longer depend on having. So I am back to letting go.
Development of my practice. I am letting go of some of the wonderful ideas and projects for my business that I have forming in my head and on paper. I am surrounded by so many wonderful women, doing amazing, progressive things with their lives and their businesses, that I've been swept along with their energy and enthusiasm and passion. I want to do these things also; wonderful things that I am excited and passionate about. But some of these things, I am letting go of, for now.
These people that I am surrounded with and admire, do not live my life nor are in my circumstances. Everyone is in a different phase and place for themselves and their businesses. It is unfair of me to put pressure on myself to be living their lives and not mine.
My daughter will disappear to a nursery or pre-school before too long. The days until then will fly by and as much as I'd love to be spending my days writing a book or creating coaching packages or having a regular clinic or speaking at conferences, now is not the time to fill my days with that.
Now is for enjoying my little one and walks with her snoozing in the Spring sunshine. Now is for enjoying the balance I have between spending time with her and time on my business. Now is for doing what I have created with my business well; keeping things ticking over and making sure I am delivering a fantastic coaching service. I am letting go of the immediacy of those other wonderful things, not the potential of them. That I am holding onto until the time is right!
I want to be excited about the future, not frustrated with the present. So I am adjusting my ambition to fit in with my reality. I know that when the time is right, I will deliver better talks, write more coherent chapters, devote more time to a clinic, because there will be less pressure. The time will be right.
So what are you letting go of? And how are you finding the adjustment?
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