Work/life balance. It is a phrase that is used liberally and widely. It is something that the majority of us are probably familiar with striving to attain within in our lives. The idea that we can glide through life calm, centred and in control, is a goal worthy of aspiring to.
Creating a good work/life balance takes a delicate and intricate synchronicity of many factors and when it works, it is like a well-oiled machine, with all cogs turning and all components working together to create seamless motion.
So what happens when that finely tuned system gets a stress hiccup? Here is my story of recent days: a cautionary tale
As a coach, it is not only my own work/life balance issues that I am confronted with on a daily basis but those of whom I work with as well. It is a recurring theme on the workshops I facilitate and the retreats I run: how to achieve work/life balance?
Part of achieving this state where you feel as though you are in control of every facet of your life; where you feel you are spreading your time and energy in equal loving and effective doses across all arenas of your life; where you feel purposeful and relaxed, is knowing what your balance is and knowing when it isn't.
What good work/life balance is, is different for everyone but we all know exactly when it's not going well. You may be familiar with some of these symptoms of work/life imbalance: not eating properly, poor sleep patterns, lethargy and tiredness, feeling overwhelmed, highly emotional, skin breakouts, high tension, short fuse.
As a coach I am more than equipped to understand, strategise, plan and execute all the factors required to have a good work/life balance. And also as a coach, I am aware of the pressure to do this, as a model to my clients, to walk the talk. Do I get it right all the time? Absolutely not. If I had checked off that list of imbalance symptoms this time last week, I'd have checked them all and added a few more!
So how does that stand for a coach walking the talk?
For one thing, walking the talk as a coach for me is about being real. I'm no expert and I'm very happily not perfect - but what I aim to show through my coaching and through my life journey is that life is a work in progress and if we learn and grow, reflect and understand, we can create the life we want.
Spending time with a good friend during a Reflexology treatment today reminded me just how this can be done. Lisa will be the first to admit that creating a life you love is not easy; that life is not a walk in the park by any stretch. She will also freely admit to and often writes about the difficulties of day to day living in a busy, real, teenage-filled world. However, amongst all that, if there is any model of good work/life balance and loving her life, she is it.
Aside from last week, when my stress levels did hit the ceiling, I also have a life that I love. I have worked for years to create a life where I feel I am purposeful and fulfilled in nearly every facet of my life (yes, years. It does not take a weekend absorbed in self-help books to get to a 'zen zone' of balance and content!). Generally, I can look back on a week and feel as though I have spent good time and energy on the areas of my life that I deem a priority. There is always room for improvement and that is the journey of a life well-lived. So for me, the balance tends to swing towards a sense of well-being and happiness.
I would not be a good coach or model if I only ever showed the positive results of working at getting work/life balance right. I run workshops on work/life balance as a way of allowing people to gain the insights and tools that I have gathered and learned on my journey and try to implement every day in my life. As part of those workshops and through what I write and share, I also show the pitfalls and realities of trying to create a life you adore. My experiences are real, my tools and strategies are tried and tested, my learning and sharing is real.
As I was reminded last week by my melting pot of extreme work pressure, a huge dollop of lack of sleep, a dash of technical glitches and a pinch of un-routine weeks thrown in, it is not easy to maintain calm and balance. It is not easy to maintain a sense of control and competence when life has happened. Something has got to give.
I know my stress triggers and thankfully so do those I am close to. Being aware of when you are in overload is often not enough- you are too engulfed to even begin to pull yourself out, you need some reminding from those who love you that you are on the edge. You need support. You need to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You need to know your stress solutions.
Thankfully I had that. That did not mean I wasn't frustrated, tired, frazzled and angry. Of course I was. But those were my triggers to action. I called on practical support when I knew I had too much on my plate. I had loving support helping me through by gently reminding me things were boiling over. I also had the light at the end of the tunnel- I knew it was temporary until the work deadline had passed. And it helped to eat chocolate, breathe, weed the garden furiously for an hour, breathe, and have a cup of tea and a bath.
Do I still love my life? Yes, absolutely. Do I still strive to attain a consistent good and healthy work/life balance? Always, life permitting. Will I do things differently next time? Of course. Will you do things differently having read this, I hope so.
Stress issues resonating with you? Read this article for some basic info.
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