How long is your 'to-do' list? Do you feel as though you are always running to catch up? Are you always putting 3 items on your list and only crossing off one? Are there never enough hours in the day?
These are often the experiences of a lot of the women I coach and it impacts largely on their efforts towards achieving a good work/life balance. But as they soon find out, it doesn't always have to be that way.
Through personal and coaching experience, I have discovered there is more than just not enough hours in the day behind a long 'to-do' list. The frustrations felt at the end of the day, of feeling as though nothing has been achieved have a lot to do with the contents of the list itself and your expectations.
If you look at your list, you will possibly find a number of items there that have been rolling onto every list for a number of weeks or even months? There is a reason you are not doing that particular thing. Something is stopping you which has nothing to do with time or energy.
Are you fearful of assumed outcomes or consequences? Is it something you feel you ought or should do? Is is too overwhelming to even begin?
Often our out-of-proportion worries stop us from taking positive action or the expectations of others keep us inert and continually frustrated. A big project will not even get started if we view it in its entirety- it's just too much to even contemplate. It is then a very vicious circle when guilt begins and we feel bad for being a bad/lazy person.
Sound familiar?
Looking at your list again, you might find some items that are there because you'd really like to have more of something in your life: exercise, social life, healthy eating; or you'd like to take up dance classes/painting/ photography.
These are all wonderful aspirations but have you stopped to consider that in your current circumstances, it just isn't practical to do? Some of our aspirations can be left to more conducive times, when you are in a better position to spend the time and energy on it you wish to.
And then there are just some items that you need to deal to with some simple time-management strategies.
Here are some tips to keeping your 'to-do' list under control:
1. Edit: have a good cull of your list as it stands- thinking about the issues above
- Look at items you never seem to do each time- why are they on the list in the first place? If you haven't done it this week or month, does it need to be done at all?
- Consider the items you are always putting off- what are you fearful of happening? What is the worst case scenario and is it that bad?
- What's on there because it's something you think you OUGHT to do? Who is telling you to: your mother's expectations? Your partner's? The expectations of your peer group? What is it YOU want to do?
- Breakdown overwhelming items into smaller, more manageable parts
- Create a new 'Aspirations' list with those things that are better done at a later time in your life
- If it is something you do every day anyway, take it off!!
2. Prioritise: what is the ONE thing that you must get done today? Highlight it and make that your priority
3. Reward: next, do ONE thing off your list that is enjoyable or pleasurable
4. After that, anything else you do in the day is a bonus
Understanding what we put on our lists and why, goes a long way in helping us to manage and achieve what it is we want to do in our lives. Half of the battle may be in giving yourself a break from this weight of pressure and expectation.
It may be then, that you find the day does have enough hours in it after all, or even with some to spare.
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