Two weeks ago I had the pleasure of going on a summer holiday- and not a moment too late. Aside from the joy of getting some sun in August, I was looking forward to 'getting out of my life' for a time to be able to reflect and evaluate recent months. I created the Cotswold Coaching Retreat for that same reason: for people to come to a tranquil space to take the time to look at where they are and where they'd like to be going. Often 'life' gets in the way of our plans; things then get out of balance, we get stressed and it all seems too overwhelming. If we don't take the time to check in with ourselves on a regular basis, this will happen. I was getting to this point myself and knew if I could just make it to the plane, both the physical and mental distance would offer a welcome relief.
A good friend and coach, Cathy Dean, wrote in a recent blog post: 'I still sometimes meet people who think that, as a life coach, I must have everything sorted and live a life of unending milk and honey, but I can reassure anyone that thinks that way that it’s really not like that!' Cathy goes on to talk about the difficulty in having self-awareness as a coach but still having 'blind spots' as a human being. Coaches, as authentic people, have their own issues to work with and be aware of as much as anyone else and often are more susceptible to them because of their high level of self-awareness.
Through my own journey of self-awareness, I have identified, tamed and overcome many issues that have plagued my life. Some issues I still encounter at times, particularly during those periods when I am more vulnerable than usual: when I am overtired; when I am out of my comfort zone; when the balance has gone awry. I fortunately have an armoury of tools and strategies that allow me to meet these issues head-on, accept the challenge to un-pick it all and then take pleasure in re-building a new way of thinking or being or doing.
I find for me that journalling, yoga, meditation and me-time are effective ways of dealing with imbalance and the issues it creates in my life, so I was prepared to focus on these activities until I figured out what to do with a new blind spot that popped up which I needed to look at. Being out of the old routine, I was able to initiate a new one on holiday that allowed the whole family to operate guilt-free of chores to be done or other demands and to use time more freely.
The sun helped the feeling of relaxation and stress-relief of course but the distance from 'everyday' allowed me to get a better perspective on my niggling blind spot and I had more time free of 'musts'. I was able to look at the issue more rationally and less emotionally. My husband and I were able to discuss niggles in a more relaxed and open manner. We had each others time and attention. No English channels on the tv helped too!
I talked, walked, ate, questioned, swam, read, meditated, laughed, and played and gradually the clarity came and with it, an answer. I now have a new and interesting insight into my psyche and the way I behave under pressure. I have a new plan to manage it that I will be trying out in coming months to see if I can get the balance right. It may need some tweaking but its better than spiraling into stress and exhaustion!
Sometimes it is not that simple. The clarity might come but the answer remains hidden for a bit longer and you may need some help teasing it out of its hiding place but the key elements are giving yourself time and space regularly to allow the process to at least begin!
You don't need a holiday abroad to give yourself the time and space you need. You don't even need to go on retreat to clear your head and gain some insight (although I know of a great one in the Cotswolds where you can!); just simply going for a walk regularly will offer you the same benefits of time and space. Going for a walk is much easier to maintain over time too and more convenient to do regularly. You also avoid the awful airport check-ins and plane journeys with a toddler!
Holiday, retreat, walk. Whatever you choose (a combination of all for me please!), your intention is to give yourself the time and space to gain perspective, think clearly and generate resolutions on those things that are troubling you and causing imbalance and an unhealthy lifestyle.
I would love to hear of any tools and strategies that help guide you to increased self-awareness.
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